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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Top Ten Ralph Nader Campaign Promises
 Top Ten   
Fund universal health care by making Wesley Snipes pay his taxes
Give the presidency a rumpled, Walter Matthau quality
The freezing over of Hell should solve our global warming crisis
Get those people off that island in "Lost"
Send Gary Busey in to annoy and confuse our enemies
Can fill out a pantsuit better than Hillary
Will hover in polls between 1% and "Statistically Insignificant"
Force Starbucks to identify their sizes "Small," "Medium," and "Large" -- am I right people?
Will not sleep with lobbyists, or for that matter anyone else
Get Bush re-elected like in 2000
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Be the greatest Ralph since Macchio

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Presidential radio addresses will contain more rock, and less talk

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No fat chicks

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I got a cousin who can get us a sweet deal on cigarettes

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