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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Top Ten Ways The Knicks Can Improve Their Image
  
Donate one dollar to charity for every punch thrown this season
Get the Russians to poison opponents
If a player falls into the stands during a brawl, you get to keep him
Every night head coach Isiah Thomas calls some lucky ticketholder an "a**hole"
Do what Kobe does -- start handing out diamond rings
Change team name from Knickerbockers to something more whimsical like Snickerdoodles
Fifty percent more congratulatory ass-patting
Free Tums to fans who feel dyspeptic
Add hilarious cartoon sound effects to game-time beat downs
Replace Knicks City Dancers with drunken slutty Miss USA
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Sorry, no Top Ten Extras tonight!

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